Secrets
by Madilayn
Summary: Set before, during & after The Alien Bigfoot episode. Jason seems to have found somebody he can love, however, they both have secrets that could destroy any chance at happiness. SLASHAuthor Note: My thanks to Tiylya who gave me some wonderful feedback
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Secrets**

**Author: Madilayn**

**Fandom: Battle of the Planets**

**Rating: R**

**Disclaimer**: Battle of the Planets is owned by Sandy Frank. Gatchaman is the property of Tatsunko. No money is being made from the use of characters owned by Tatsunko or Sandy Frank.

**Summary**: Jason has a bad habit of falling for the wrong person. This time he manages it in a rather spectacular manner

**Author note:** Warnings for Slash (Male/Male sex situations). Language. Set in the leadup to and during the episode "The Alien Bigfoot".

**Part 1**

He couldn't be sure when he started to desire Tal. It had come on so gradually, that at first, Jason hadn't noticed it. Hadn't noticed when his admiration of his friend's competence, had become admiration of how elegant he was; when watching those slender hands teaching all manner of things, had become watching those same hands and wondering what they would feel like on his own body.

The biggest jolt came the day that he found himself talking to his friend and getting hard as he listened to the way that light tenor dissected the movie they were watching on TV. It was then that he had admitted to himself that he was attracted to his, very male, friend Tal. That he wanted desperately to crush that mouth under his, to have those hands, that mouth, trace a route down his own body.

Shakily, he rose and pulled another beer out of the fridge, the final realisation hitting him as he straightened and he leaned heavily against the bench.

He wanted Tal. He wanted to fuck and be fucked by him. Wanted to be completely possessed by him. To tell him he loved him.

Jason couldn't stop the shaking that had come over him, and dimly heard his breathing become harsher. He was, for the first time in his life desiring, wanting, and needing another man. He could hear Tal calling his name felt a hand touch his shoulder, and forced himself back under control.

He straightened and turned, coming face to face with the object of his desire, faces inches away from each other. "You OK, Jason? You're looking a bit green."

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Hit my head on the door last night, and still feeling a bit off."

Tal looked concerned. "Jason, you're the most klutzy person of my acquaintance. You need a keeper!" he laughed.

Jason forced himself to look at his friend's face, and found himself drowning in the other man's eyes. Yes, he thought, please be my keeper. "Yeah. I've been told that before. Beer?"

Tal nodded and took the offered drink, moving back to the sofa. He worried about his friend - especially his seeming clumsiness did that resulted in him being covered in bruises or other injuries.

Secrets, they both had them, and Tal wondered if it would ever be safe to let Jason know his secrets. He shook his head slightly. No. For Jason's own sake, he couldn't let him know. It would be too dangerous for both of them, and he didn't want to put this young man he had fallen in love with in any danger. Bad enough the level of danger they were in as friends.

Jason sat next to him and made some remark about the dodgy logic of the outcome of the movie, and they were off again. Both of them enjoyed these debates, often ending in shouting matches, often taking opposite sides just for the sake of a good argument.

It was an unusual friendship. Tal, suave – the sort of person you found at high society functions; and Jason, the impulsive loner.

Even their looks screamed their difference, Tal with his fair hair worn long, but always neatly tied back, slender and almost femininely handsome, and Jason, rugged and much rougher around the edges, almost too craggy to be handsome.

But they found shared interests, the main one being their love of hang gliding, and of hiking through the solitary fastness of forests. They both loved to find the most lonely and beautiful places on Earth, something in both their souls needing these places.

Both of them, unknown to the other, completely dedicated to a cause.

They'd met whilst hang gliding, both coming afoul of the same downdraft, friendship forged as they had to climb down the mountain to safety.

And they both had their secrets, things that they couldn't tell each other. Jason made sure that he always appeared as drunk as Tal, even though his implant gave him a very high alcohol tolerance, and Tal always made sure that he seemed to be hungry when Jason was, his own metabolism needing less food less often.

And Tal never spoke of how he had fallen in love with the young man.

But things had changed in the space of a few hours. Jason watched his friend through half-closed eyes, feigning drunkenness. They slumped from the couch to the floor, and found themselves leaning against each other.

Jason couldn't help himself, and slipped an arm around his friend, revelling in the touch, the closeness. Contrary to popular belief, he did think before he acted. But this time, he decided that thought would only complicate the process. He moved closer and took the kiss he'd been longing for.

He felt Tal stiffen, but only to move position, and his arms moved around Jason, embracing him, and Jason returned the embrace, content to let the kiss linger, overjoyed by the feeling of Tal returning the kiss, tongues moving together, tasting, exploring.

Lack of air forced an end and Tal's hand moved to his face, caressing. In his eyes was sadness and regret, as well as desire.

Jason smiled at him and moved to renew the kiss. The other stopped him, leaning his forehead against his.

"You're pissed, Jason," he said softly. "You wouldn't be doing this otherwise." Jason went to reply when he felt a soft kiss against his forehead. "If I let you go further, you'd hate me later." Then, more words, at the very edge of his augmented hearing. "Oh my Dearling. I wish it was otherwise."

Jason sat up, and looked at the other man, those eyes seemed deeper and sadder than ever. "I'm as pissed as you are, Tal."

Two secrets in the open now.

Jason saw hope flash briefly in Tal's eyes. "I'm ten years older than you, Jason. And you've got a reputation as being a ladies man. I won't be an experiment for you."

Jason moved forward, pressing another kiss to his friend's lips. He took the plunge, about to let another secret into the open. "Reputations can be a lot of hot air, and that's what mine is. I've kissed a lot of girls, but you have to believe me when I say that this isn't an experiment. I've never felt like this about anybody – man or woman. Never needed anybody like this before. You're ten years older than me – that's ten years more experience. You've taught me a lot, Tal. Teach me this, too." His voice broke with the emotions he was letting himself show. He'd never been this open before.

Tal pulled back, taking in the implications of Jason's statement, his own hands shaking badly as he caressed the dear face before him. "Oh sweet lord," he began, and pressed soft kisses to his friend's lips.

Jason looked embarrassed, about to tell something that nobody, even his best friend and brother knew. "I'm a virgin, Tal. Teach me. Show me. Make love to me."

A third secret.

An embrace, more kisses, and Jason's hands started to move, caressing and Tal began to shake with longing again. He broke the kiss and looked around at where they were and shuddered. He absolutely hated Jason's trailer, and he wanted to make the younger man's first time memorable. "Not here, Dearling. Not now," the hardest words he'd ever had to say. "I want you to think about this first. To be sure it's what you want." Jason started to speak, and Tal silenced him with a soft kiss.

"I want you to be sure of yourself. Because if this is just something brought on by alcohol, I couldn't bear the pain of loosing you. If it is what you want, if you love me, then I want to make your first time special."

Tal pulled him into an embrace, holding him tightly, caressing the strong back and nuzzling at the side of Jason's neck. Jason gasped at the caresses his head tipping back, and both of them could feel his erection through his jeans. Tal's hand moved to that hardness as he nibbled at the bared neck. So good. He tasted so good.

Tal forced himself to stop, and was surprised at Jason's snarl. "I'm sure," he said roughly, trying to grab Tal.

Tal moved away, "Dearling," he whispered, and Jason felt his heart swell at the endearment, and heard an embarrassing almost-sob come from his own lips. Immediately the other was there, holding and caressing. "Dearling. You are, you know. But for both of us, all I ask is that you think on this for 24 hours. At the end of that time, if you still feel the same way, then call me." Tal kissed him, softly, lovingly. "Let me make this something for you to remember, Jason."

Jason returned the kiss. "I'm not gunna change my mind, you know. But I'll give you your 24 hours."


	2. Chapter 2

In spite of everything, Tal was surprised to get the call exactly 24 hours later. Surprised because he had honestly thought Jason's response had been the result of alcohol. He was tired, the past twenty-four hours had been hideous, but that was more than made up for by this.

He managed to hide his surprise, but not his delight and gave Jason an address and a time. He was even more delighted at Jason's response to the time.

"I'll be there in 15 minutes. I've waited 24 hours, Tal. I've not changed my mind. And I'm not fucking waiting for another hour."

In the event, it took Jason 20 minutes, and Tal was waiting in the parking garage, leaning against the wall, deliberately mimicking one of Jason's habitual stances. He watched with amused eyes as the car stopped suddenly and Jason got out.

"You're late," he said smiling.

"Your directions suck."

"But you're here now."

"Yes," said Jason moving closer, his eyes on Tal's mouth. "I'm here now."

It wasn't a gentle kiss, nor an explosive one. But to the two sharing it, it was exactly what they wanted. "My Dearling," whispered Tal, "you have no idea how grateful I am."

Jason revelled in both the embrace and the endearment. "You could try showing me," he said.

Tal broke the embrace, but took the young man's hand and raised it to his lips. "Come with me," he said, leading him to the elevators.

To Jason, the ride up seemed never-ending, and, despite all his best efforts, all he got for his pains was a swift kiss and an admonition to "wait". He'd waited for this for 24 hours.

The elevator stopped, and Tal kissed him again as the door opened. "We're here," he said.

"Here" was a revelation. They were at the top of one of Centre City's tallest residential towers, and the room that the elevator opened out into was calming, lush plants and the sound of running water soothing tense nerves. It was like the forest that they both loved walking in.

Jason looked around. "What is this place?"

"You could say it's my Sanctuary," said Tal. "I don't get to spend nearly as much time here as I want," he said softly and then grinned at Jason, "Especially since I met you. And my work tends to be demanding. The only other person who I've brought here is my sister, and she doesn't appreciate it. City type. The only other residents on this floor are my caretakers, and they know better than to intrude without being summoned."

Jason looked at him sharply. This was a different Tal than the one who lounged around in his trailer. In this place, with those words, Tal gave off an aura of complete power. A knowledge that what he said would be obeyed without question.

Jason shivered, wondering how far that aspect of Tal's personality went, and wondered if he would be able to accept it. He certainly hoped that Tal didn't try to control him. He'd enough of that with Anderson and Mark. "And you wanted to hang round in my trailer?" he found himself blurting out.

Tal smiled and pulled him in for a kiss. "No. I hate your trailer, Jason. I wanted to hang around with you. And that made up for the trailer."

"D'you mind if we skip the trailer from now on?" asked Jason, bemused.

Tal laughed and caressed his soon-to-be lover, rejoicing in the response from the other's body. He kissed him deeply before answering. "Not one little bit. Anything we can do in the trailer we can do here."

"Stripping a diff back?" Jason had no idea why that had come out. He only knew that all of a sudden he was nervous. He wanted this, wanted Tal. But he was apprehensive as well. What if Tal found him lacking?

Tal nibbled at the side of Jason's neck, loving the taste. He could feel Jason's nervousness in the slight stiffness of his body, and worked harder to counteract it. "Garage," he said absently and went back to his previous activity. "Anyway, I can think of far more interesting things to do here," and Tal started to push Jason's t-shirt up, kneeling down to kiss and caress the flesh revealed. "Much, much more interesting things."

Jason moaned at the touch, his hand caressing the other man's hair, and then moving his arms to allow his shirt to be removed completely. He was still nervous, but that was now overpowered by desire.

Tal gazed at his naked torso, hands running over the revealed muscles and mouth moving to one nipple. Jason gasped – he hadn't realised that guys could be turned on by that! But he had to admit; his reading in the area of sex had not encompassed how to turn a man on.

Tal, however, seemed to know just what to do. Jason moaned, as the tongue became teeth, pulling, teasing, and nibbling. All his being seemed caught up in Tal's mouth, his body supported by strong arms.

Tal heard the moan and felt himself grow harder, felt Jason harden against him and swiftly moved from nipple to mouth. "I want you, my Dearling," he said, "but I think that we'll both find that the bedroom is far more accommodating for what I plan."

Jason moved in closer and kissed his soon-to-be lover. "Lead the way," he said, bravado making him sound brash. Tal smiled and caressed his face, making Jason move his cheek into the caressing hand.

"No games, Jason. Just relax and be yourself."

Jason looked taken aback. Usually only Mark could read him like that. "No games," he repeated, and tried to pull Tal in for a kiss, reaching out to caress the evidence of the other's arousal. Dammed if he was going to let Tal find him lacking.

Tal looked at him sharply, recognising the bravado for what it was. "Jason, you have to understand. I'll try not to hurt you, but there will be pain. You have to tell me if I hurt you. Understand?"

Jason looked confused and shook his head. He had a vague idea, but didn't understand the mechanics. And the twenty-four hours previously had been spent in taking out a Spectran mecha, rather than the research for this moment he would have preferred.

"You said you wanted me to make love to you. How do you think that happens, Jason," and Tal caressed Jason's arse. The penny dropped and Jason looked dumbfounded for a moment. "I'm not a small man, Jason. And this is your first time. It's going to hurt, no matter how careful I am. So you have to tell me if I hurt you."

"You wouldn't do it deliberately," said Jason softly.

"No, just as you wouldn't hurt me," and Tal stopped at the look on Jason's face. "Oh yes, my friend. I want you to fuck me as much as I want to fuck you. In fact, I can't think of what I want more."

Jason looked at his friend, eyes wide and saw the desire and love pouring out of Tal's. "I promise," he said. "I'll tell you if you hurt me. Now can we get on with it?"

Tal laughed and pulled him towards the bedroom. "I thought you'd never ask."


	3. Chapter 3

It was amazing, really, how they managed to have dovetailing schedules. Not once did Jason have to pull out of a date with Tal, not once did Tal's "business" keep him away from his lover.

Jason found himself spending more and more time with Tal and less and less with his teammates.

They, on the other hand, found Jason more open and happier than he had ever been before.

For once in his life, Jason found himself truly happy. He said as much to Tal early one morning after they made love.

Tal smiled. "I find myself in the same situation, Dearling. I would not have believed that I could have such pleasure and such love."

Jason found that being in love with your friend made that love even more satisfying, and finally understood why Princess persevered with her pursuit of Mark. He resolved to help her – even if he had to present her with Mark, tied up with a large bow. The thought made him grin, and Tal moved closer, kissing the edge of the grin.

"That grin bodes no good for somebody, Jason," he said.

"A friend – almost a sister. For the first time, I understand why she loves him, why she keeps on loving him even though neither one of them will do anything about it. I was contemplating presenting Prin with Mark as a gift. Naked and tied with a bow."

Tal laughed at that, knowing his lover was quite capable of doing such a thing. Something was nagging him however. The names Jason used, nagged in the back of his mind. They were something he should know. Something important. He pushed it away. This time belonged to Tal and Jason. He would allow nothing to intrude.

Almost absentmindedly, he traced a long silver scar that went across Jason's hip. One of a fine tracery of scars. This one, however, looked considerably more serious than the others. This one, he could not justify from injuries from a car accident whilst racing, or just clumsiness.

This one was a slice wound. Made by something very sharp and large. He wondered again what Jason did other than race, why he had always seemed so naggingly familiar.

Whatever it was, it was important, he was sure.

But not more important than his Dearling.

Jason shivered at the touch. Tal seemed fascinated with that scar, and Jason knew why.

It was the one that he couldn't justify. He didn't mind some of Tal's fascination with it. The light touch and kisses were some of the most erotic feelings he had ever had.

He caught Tal looking at him, and a chime went off in the other room. He felt Tal stiffen, and heard him swear at the interruption. It rarely happened, these interruptions in what had become their home, Tal's "sanctuary", but it always meant that Tal was called away on urgent business.

He stretched as he watched Tal pull on a robe and leave the room. His languid lover replaced by the powerful man he knew Tal was in his other life. Jason didn't really care what Tal's business was. As long as he didn't probe too deeply into Jason's.

He dozed and was wakened by Tal re-entering the bedroom. Jason watched through half-closed eyes as he entered and pulled off his robe before jumping on the bed.

Jason responded happily, but the flash he had caught as Tal discarded the robe worried him. There was something achingly familiar about it. Jason knew that it was something important, but it escaped him completely. He kept getting these flashes with Tal, finding something naggingly familiar about him.

But he passed it off as just becoming more and more familiar with Tal.

They passed their time doing all the things they did as friends, but found greatest joy in the nights that they managed to steal. Nights where they did nothing but sleep wrapped in each other's arms.

Jason and Tal learned each other by rote. They taught each other how to love, how to show love. Tal learned the difference between sex and making love, and he resolved that Jason would never have to know that.

No matter what his Master said, he couldn't give up his human lover. He would die first.

And when he was alone, Tal would tremble at the thought of how much he did love Jason. He blessed that love, as, when the part of him that was Tal was pushed to the back, was almost lost to his Master's will, that love managed to keep Tal intact.


	4. Chapter 4

It was cold, the wind biting through his birdstyle as he searched through the wreckage of the campsite.

For a split second, he wished himself back in the warmth of his home, in the sanctuary he shared with Tal.

But only for a second. His overriding concern at this time was his missing team mate.

"Is there any sign of trouble?" asked Mark.

"Well, leaving all his gear behind isn't a good sign," Jason replied

They paused to consider their options, when Princess' cry announced a signal from Keyop.

This was it. He was close, and they would get him back.

Jason was pleased to be back in the warmth of the Phoenix. It hadn't been a good few weeks. Tal had been away, and he was not only sexually frustrated, but also surprised at just how much he missed him.

He was making mistakes. The fine line that he trod, the line between doing his Master's bidding and trying to keep this beautiful world from descending into the hell of his own, was getting harder to balance.

He knew when it had started – the day he fell in love with a human. To be specific, the day he fell in love with Jason.

There was no rule against fraternisation with the humans, it was encouraged in some circumstances. The more half-blood Spectrans on earth, the easier it would be to assimilate the planet.

He sat up. Jason. That was one of the nagging things. He was obviously a half-blood Spectran. It was there in the shape of his eyes, his jawline.

He knew that would be no excuse, however. His Master did not mind occasional liaisons, but he knew that the Great Spirit would never allow him to have a constant lover. He didn't even want to contemplate what would happen if Mala knew.

No. He was Zoltar at present. Tal had to take a back seat.

It was becoming harder and harder. Tal, secure in love, was becoming more and more dominant. Tal was deliberately making mistakes, deliberately pushing the envelope as to what he could and couldn't do without being caught.

Twice today the Spirit had chastised him. That was twice that Zoltar had been forced to expend his energy in keeping Tal hidden.

He knew he had two choices. Either tell Jason the whole truth, or end this at the soonest opportunity.

He didn't want to do either.

He wanted nothing more than to be able to spend the rest of his life with Jason, secure in their sanctuary. He wanted to meet Jason's friends, to be able to with his lover in the open.

He had suggested it to Jason, but he'd been reluctant.

"I can't, Tal. I'm not ready."

Tal understood. He could be patient, as long as he had his Dearling with him.

The past few weeks had been horrendous. The urgent summons to this base, this godawful, cold base, to finish their preparations. He'd had no chance to return to Centre City, to Jason. And, worst of all, the Great Spirit was becoming suspicious of his actions.

He was dedicated to the conquest of Earth, for the glory of Spectra. But he loved Earth. From the first time he set foot on the planet, he'd loved it. Wanted it. Wanted to protect it. Those stupid Earthlings. They hadn't taken care of this jewel. Only now where they starting to take steps to reverse the damage done.

Spectrans had tried that, but it had also been too little too late. His planet had once been like this, before arrogance had despoiled it.

He was determined this would not happen to Earth.

All he had to do was to defeat G-Force.

The alarms sounded and he stood and pulled on his mask. It was time. This time, he had to win.

The sooner he won, the sooner he could go back home, to Jason.

And he stopped suddenly, shivering. He couldn't remember when Jason had come to represent home. This was dangerous. He would have to be very careful when he spoke to the Spirit.

He couldn't put his Dearling in danger.

When the G-Force team jumped down from the Phoenix, some trick of the light caught the visor of the Condor's helmet. It turned it transparent, and Zoltar saw, for the first time, his face clearly.

His heart screamed as he recognised the face of his lover. All the clues he had noticed about his younger lover slipped into place. Their neatly dovetailing timetables. The coincidence of the name of his Dearling, and those of his friends..

He had to get out of there. The Commander of G-Force came towards him.

"You've won," Zoltar whispered. "Let me go." If he could get out of there, his life with Jason was still possible. He could find a way to make it work. But not if Jason knew who he was.

"I've never seen you without your mask," was all he heard.

"No! Not that!" But it was too late.

In that split second when his mask was ripped off, Zoltar was face to face with G-Force, but it was once face that caused time to stop for him. For the first time, he saw his enemies without the mask with it's tinted eyeholes.

He looked, for a moment, directly into the eyes of Jason. In those eyes was recognition and horror, as well as indescribable pain, and Zoltar saw his lips form one word. "Tal".

Zoltar knew that his own eyes mirrored those same emotions as their final secrets were stripped away. He raised his hands to face and spun away, hair flaring out, as the Luminous One's blinding lights stunned G-Force. And his heart broke as he knew that this was the end.

In the midst of the light, the noise, two distinct screams were ripped from throats more used to speaking of love together.

They roused slowly.

"Was it just me or did I see Zoltar with long blonde hair?" asked Mark

Jason barely registered the conversation and only just managed to keep functioning as they moved back into the Phoenix.

He heard Tiny laughing at the suggestion that Zoltar could be a female, and Jason wanted to echo the laughter.

He could certainly attest to the fact that Zoltar was all man


	5. Chapter 5

Jason had been avoiding the team for days now, and it was only by careful tracking that Mark had found him.

His own heart had been breaking for his best friend, who, in that moment when Zoltar had been unmasked, had obviously been struck to the very soul. Jason had tried to hide it, but Mark knew better. He knew all the ways his friend hid when he was deeply hurt.

He didn't know why it had affected Jason like it had, but was determined to find out.

He perched in a tree, watching as the other man listlessly leaned against the tree, tossing rocks into the stream. He could see why Jason was drawn here, the serenity and beauty of the place soothing.

Mark was about to drop down when he heard somebody approaching. Turning, he saw a tall, slender blond man walking towards Jason.

"I knew I'd find you here."

Jason spun to face him, feather poised. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you here and now."

The other man smiled sadly. "Because you can't. Just like I can't kill you, my Dearling. I've come alone, you know. I needed to see you again, Dearling. To tell you how much I do love you."

Jason grabbed the other and slammed him against the tree, shuriken at his throat. "Don't call me that," he snarled. "It's just another one of your lies, Zoltar." His voice broke at the last word. His heart had broken at Zoltar's first words, and his resolve had crumbled at his confession of love.

Mark nearly fell off his perch, and shifted his weight to drop down. This was his chance to capture Zoltar. His next words, however, stopped him in his tracks.

Zoltar shook his head and caressed Jason's face lovingly. "Not about that, Jason. I didn't lie about loving you. I can't change what I feel, any more than you can. Nor can we change what we are, Jason. Falling in love with you was…," he paused and sighed. "The biggest mistake and the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me." He leaned over and kissed him softly. "By loving you, I knew that I put you in danger. If my sister or the Spirit found out, we would both have been dead. Now do you understand why I resisted you? Why I wanted you to be sure? Please believe me when I say that you are the most important thing in my life. To know I've hurt you tears my heart out. To know that I have to leave you, to live my life without you…" he smiled ruefully. "Jason, if G-Force had thought for a thousand millennia, you couldn't think up a better way to torture me. I am forever empty without you. I came here alone to see you, to tell you, and, if you wanted, to let you kill me."

Jason stumbled backwards, eyes filled with tears. "And how do you think I felt when I realised that of all people, I'd fallen in love with Zoltar?"

Tal shook his head. "You love me?" he asked, bemused; yet his soul was filled with a soaring joy.

"Enough that you're still alive now. Enough that I'll not come after you, nor will I tell anybody else where to find you. If you leave now, and never come near me again. I can't kill you, Tal. Not unless you kill me as well."

Tal stepped forward, and the two joined in a final embrace. "Always remember, Dearling, you love Tal, not Zoltar. Tal is who I really am, and Tal is the one who will always love you. Zoltar is the name the Great Spirit gave me when he raised me to power. Tal is who I was born. The fact that you love me is the most precious thing anybody has ever given me. I love you, Jason. With all that I am." He stepped away, tears flowing freely. "Goodbye, my Dearling," he said and ran off. In the tree, Mark remained frozen, struck by what he had seen and heard, unable to give chase to Zoltar. Frozen by the knowledge that their greatest enemy had been willing to let Jason kill him, because he loved him.

And knowing that same love left Jason unable to take that advantage.

He didn't want to take advantage of the pain of his best friend, and was in awe of the depth of love that Jason was capable of. He hoped he would never be asked the sort of sacrifice that Jason had.

The sorrow he felt for his friend deepened and he finally dropped to the ground next to Jason who had fallen, his body heaving with the force of his sobbing. Mark had never seen Jason this visibly upset, and knew that in certainty, if the leaving had caused Zoltar pain, it was also causing incomparable pain to Jason. He wrapped his arms around his friend, offering comfort and love and Jason clung tightly.

The storm of sobs subsided and Jason looked up at Mark. "How long?"

"Since the beginning. I followed you here to try to find out what was wrong."

"Well now you know," said Jason bitterly. "Good to see that my track record with Spectran's has run true to form. And in a spectacular way. Why didn't you take advantage of this and get Zoltar?"

Mark hugged him tighter. "We can't help who we love," he said softly, "and I'm not going to take advantage of you like that. I'm not going to ask you to betray somebody you love. Even if that somebody is Zoltar."

"Mark, I've completely fucked up this time. I fell in love with fucking Zoltar! So not only do you have a poof for a second, but he's in love with the enemy."

Mark looked at Jason. "I've got a strong, capable second, who's just proven himself stronger and braver than I could ever be. The only problem I have with him is that he's often a complete and utter idiot who thinks the worst of himself at the most inconvenient times."

He put his arm around his friend's shoulders. "Zoltar was right, by the way. You fell in love with Tal, not Zoltar. And from what I could see, Tal knew just how lucky he was to have you."

"He lied to me the whole time. Even at the end, he lied."

"You lied to him too, Jase."

"But not like that, Mark."

"How?"

"If I was the most important thing in his life, why'd he go and leave me alone? Why does everybody I love leave me alone?"

With that, Jason, the one who kept everything inside, who let the world see nothing, broke down completely and let himself be comforted by his best friend. Mark's heart dropped as he heard the question. He knew the answer, because it was the same answer that he gave himself whenever he saw that same question in a pair of green eyes.

For the first time, he fully understood a part of Zoltar, and felt a measure of respect for him. He couldn't tell Jason the answer, couldn't compound the hurt.

But Mark knew that, as a Leader, ultimately, the way to keep the person you loved most safe, was to deny your heart, and leave them alone.

Even if the pain was more than either could bear.

He rested his head on Jason's, his own tears now coming swiftly, for Jason, for Tal and for himself and Princess. Hearts left hurting, all to keep those they loved safe.

This secret would remain hidden. It hurt too much to let it out.

But now, Mark had one more reason to destroy Zoltar. Jason pulled away and they stood. Mark looked into his eyes and his heart sank.

The storm that had raged had gone, leaving steel. Mark knew for sure that Jason would never forget this.

And that when Jason did kill Zoltar, he would take his own life as well.

And that was another secret that Mark would keep.


End file.
